As we enter 2018, here are a few predictions for the year ahead…
Donald Trump will be recorded on tape asking an aide if Narnia is a real place, and if “that’s where Islam comes from”. The White House’s official line will be that Trump was joking.
Ed Sheeran will release a bland and inoffensive acoustic song which will somehow infuriate half the planet.
Britain First’s Paul Golding and Jayda Fransen will break into a mosque and set Sikhs on fire in the street. When convicted of attempted murder they will release a statement criticising a ‘dangerous PC culture’ which makes it ‘impossible to stand up against foreign invaders’, ‘even when they look a bit brown’.
Trailers for the new Han Solo film will infuriate fans by introducing two new characters who previously didn’t have their own Wookiepedia page.
Manchester City will win the Premier League with a record 100 points. Jose Mourinho will say that Manchester City’s budget is solely responsible, and demand Manchester United break the world transfer record again. Manchester United finish fifth.